A Christmas Blog

T'was some days before Christmas, and I sit on a rig
All around me are machines, designed only to dig
The brisk North Sea air, across our faces does blow
At the top of the derrick, does a small red light glow

The light is there always, for airplane alerts
After three weeks of rig food, we all have the squirts
Now don't get me wrong, the food it's delicious
But Jello for every meal, can really be vicious

In my fortnight of time, plus a few extra days
that I've been in this place, learning the oil man's way
I've seen wind storms and snow storms, but not much of the sun
I've shuffled equipment, that weighs well over a ton

In the spare time that I've had, I've read and I've wrote
Some day I hope that my book, will be more than a note
I've also completed, all my Holiday shopping
From my friend Amazon, all gifts will be dropping

Though I've found that my enemy, is option "One Click"
Much too easily I purchase, it's simply too slick
But for all of my nieces and nephews and friends
I've tried to provide them from the latest of trends

Now since I've been out on this floating contraption
I've heard language no channel would even close caption
I've climbed up in the air, and came down with all limbs
Which isn't that easy with true gale force winds

Now, many a bloke has given me history lesson
They think we are wrong, at least that's what I'm guessin
From their point of view, in that Colonial War
They simply gave up, it was too much of a chore

They also harass about our foods greasy and fat
Because most of the cooking takes place in a vat
While true what they said, some creativity we lack
I pointed out the UK's top selling Big Mac

They went on about Presidents Bush and Obama
And why do we continue such world wide drama
He ranted on that we nothing ever contribute
That our answer to everything is show up and shoot

Now he may have a point from his mis-informed view
What could we give the world that is potentially new
Each idea that I offered, was taken and mocked
And he wanted to show it came from previous stock

And then I realized with a sincere wicked grin
I knew the Trump card that would forever this win
He could degrade us and knock us and tell us we stink
If that is what he believes, then so let him think

For America has given the world something great
Even he will admit this is top notch, and first rate
So he implored with his Anti-American Rage
What could possibly have come since the Colonial Age?

With a wink and a nod, and a Cheshire grin
My answer quite simply, completely stunned him
He could not compete, he no longer abhores us
When I reminded him that we gave him Chuck Norris.

Merry Christmas Everyone!