Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Huh? Seriously?

Yes...there was an earthquake...yes, I am alive and ok...and yes, the In-N-Out Burgers are all fully functional and operating. You can breathe easy.
Apparently, there was an earthquake about 10 minutes ago. I was driving on the freeway, so I didn't really feel anything. However, being the stellar reporter that I am, when I got to the office, I noticed that the entire building had been evacuated. Applying my investigative skills, I found out that I missed a 5.8 shaking of the Earth. We are obviously all back in the building now. However, I am kind of bummed because I didn't get to feel it.
The earthquake happened about 20 miles northeast of here around a place called Chino Hills. It was a 5.8 on the ol' Richter Scale.
You gotta love California!
In other news, I met with the doctor a few days ago about my MRI. He was optomistic because he now feels he knows what direction to go in. Yay for modern medicine! Anyway, the next step is to take a biopsy of a couple parts of my muscle and tissue. Here comes the knife!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Thank You

I wanted to extend a very heartfelt thank you to each of you who expressed your condolences and sentiments on my Grandma's passing away. So many of you, both publicly and privately, gave much needed emotional support.

So thank you.

"You're weird."

Let's be honest...I hear that a lot. I have actually grown quite accustomed to hearing it on a semi-regular, (if not daily) basis. Like water off of a duck's back, (which is really cool to watch), this term of endearment has become a comfortable staple of my life that doesn't affect me in any way.
However...when it is said to me by someone with a little clout, it takes on a whole new meaning.
Most of you who are familiar with my sordid history of the last few years are well aware of my joint and pain issues that torment me each waking moment. It started about 3-4 years ago, and although these last two years have subsided quite a bit, the pain has recently flared up again, prompting another round of "Guess the Diagnosis" with the medical community.
The first round ended with a giant question mark. There were blood tests drawn, needles poked and prodded, and electrical shocks strategically placed in various areas of my body, but all to no avail. My hands continued to look older than they should; I developed multiple "elbows", and overall just have found it difficult at times to do what I used to be able to do.
Fast forward to the present day: As I mentioned, the pains have returned. So another volley of doctor visits has commenced. First I went to my primary care physician. Baffled at what he saw, I was traipsed along to a specialist...a rheumatologist. Our first meeting, he slated me for another large battery of tests. He told me that with these tests, plus another set of needle prodding and electric shocks, and they would be able to say without a doubt, what was going on with me.
So...I went under several blood-sucking needles, played the part of pin cushion to some masochists, and returned to my doctor with the excited expectancy of a toddler on the eve of his birthday gathering.
"You're weird."
There it was. But this time...it meant something because it was coming from a medical professional. The doctor went on to say that several of the tests they performed were specifically set up to find out exactly what I had. He said that if test A came back positive, then without a doubt, I would have "Condition X", however, if test B came back positive, I would most definitely have "Condition Y". But just in case, if test C came back positive, then there would be no shadow of lingering question, and with every fiber of his being, he would know that I had "Condition Whatever".
The problem was that all the tests came back positive. Apparently, to his knowledge, this is the first time that has ever happened. They ran the tests again...same results.
Apparently...I am weird.
However, the other day I DID get to do something that I have never had a chance to do before, but have seen and heard about many, many times. I entered....THE MRI OF DOOOOOM!
Yes, I had an MRI...but it wasn't nearly as dramatic as what you see on television...nor did I suddenly discover that I had some random piece of metal shrapnel in my body that was magnetically sucked out of my body. I just laid there for a good 30 minutes listening to the soft rock radio station they had selected for the day. (Thanks Phil Collins...for being there for me)
And the results of the MRI are.....
Coming next week.

Oh yeah...as we were finishing our last appointment, I asked the doctor about some exercises that I wanted to do, to put a little meat on my bones. (Because nothing says Body Builder like Zachary Lifferth!)

Anyway, I asked him about doing some push ups and he looked at me like I was a complete idiot. Again...this is a look I am very familiar with...but when it comes from someone of the medical profession (that I am not related to...sorry Jason and Geoff), it seems to carry more of an impact.

So I am weird...and an idiot. But at least I am an enigma!