Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Cat in the Kilt?

A lot has happened over the last 2 months. It really isn't possible to sum everything up and still keep your attention...unless I write it all in tribute to Dr. Seuss. So grab a drink, sit back and enjoy "Oh The Places Zach Went"

Oh the places Zach went
Oh the money he spent
To the land of Scotland his work did give him a pass
For the first time ever, his Frequent Flyer status bumped him to First Class
While common folk dined on a half cup of soda and stale peanuts
He devoured Greek Pasta Salad with full service clean ups

When to the home of Scots he finally landed
A rental car to the streets of Aberdeen he was handed
Once before had he down the wrong side driven
That time a heart attack he was almost given
This round he had much more confidence in his ability
In fact he found that to driving in Europe, he had quite the proclivity

His companion on this journey was a man named Ken
This is a man who is heavily into the belief of Zen
All he spoke of was wanting to see a castle
This ended up proving quite a hassle
For weeks numbering two was the original plan
But, "For 21 days you will stay!" exclaimed The Man

The workload was horrendous
And the weather was tremendous
We ate and ate and ate some more
Fish and chips soon became a bore
To spice things up we tried many thing a new
A deep fried sausage, some haggis and other things that would make you spew

But the climax for me, of this wonderful trek-a
Was getting to visit the Golfer's Mecca
One half day we were given to site see
And to St. Andrew's the village we started to flee
This is the place where golf was created
I was so excited, I practically had to be sedated

Scottish Radio had a treat for us as well
They played the same songs as America as far as we could tell
But they only chose 10 to 20 that they felt to play
But each one had a message to say

From Taylor Swift I learned "The Love Story"
Pink was prevalent in all her glory
James Morrison taught me that I can't play on broken strings
Kelly Clarkson's life would suck without me she sings
Lady Gaga brags about having a fantastic poker face
And into the hearts of the Brits has Katy Perry found her place

I saw many a tourist and yet nary any kilts
Though I saw a waiter, (who at 6 foot 9) was probably on stilts
But Scotland came and Scotland went
Or rather it was I who returned after being sent
Back to America I came riding the Class of First
I was so excited, I was ready to burst

But what I wanted most was to be denied for yet another few days
So tired I was, I just stepped through the motions in a haze
It had been over a month since I had a day off
But then my friend who is finishing 2 Graduate Degrees, at me she did scoff
I realized that I probably shouldn't complain
There are others who live a life of much more work and pain

A few days later Cousin Craig called and said we were going camping
On a Wednesday night? Why not, I was only letters stamping
So to Nunn's Park we traveled
Why we were the only ones there? We were baffled
However, the raccoon came to visit our outdoor club
I still think in Micquelle's hair he was seeking a grub
She claims she has exquisite personal hygiene
It was a fantastic trip, but the night was so cold, it rattled my spleen

I realized how lucky I am to randomly camp in the middle of the week
I get to hang out with people who are after fun always seek
Life is not meant to be spent worrying about what might be
Get out there, get out there, there is so much to see

So with a new view on life
I went to the Canyon known as Bryce
My family will trek there on an annual basis
It is by far, one of our favorite places
So much fun is to be had by all
Because our by no means small

My cousin Alicia invited her mate
She knew full well that it was a girl I did once date
Awkward can describe the initial reaction
But our friendship did once again gain traction
We all played softball to prevent any bore
But Dag-Nabit, now we are all sore

Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution were the nightly activities
And also some swimming...but not in our skivvies
I did hop in the hot tub wearing my purple speedo
Poor Karlee nearly barfed up her Cheeto
Pictures and cameras were all over the place
I think to 1000 pictures, did everyone race

Oh such a wonderful trip, we even met our new cousin-in-law Mike
We from Sunset Point to Tropic did hike
My brother and his wife took their own route
But eventually, we all from the canyon got out
In the Ward of Henrieville we did hear from their pulpit
And who brought that potato salad? Did anyone find the culprit?

My sister and her family to Colorado, by way of Payson did travel from Spokane
To see them and visit twice was not the original plan
We thought it would be once that we could bask in their company
However, TWICE we did get to see them, and laughs, there were many
Such wonderful and beautiful girls she has with her and their Dad
Gretchen and Jason themselves also aren't that bad

And so my journey of two months has come to a conclusion
Sometimes I think my life is a dream or illusion
But I have truly been blessed far more than one man could expect
Many wonderful memories I have been able to collect
And now, because my hands are starting to get clammy
I will simply end by saying:

I have The Greatest Family.

I really, truly do.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Health...In Proper Dosages

A popular dish in Scotland and the UK is Fish and Chips. This pretty much consists of deep fried fish with French Fries. Mmm...Cholesterol!

So there is a quaint little "chip" shop right next door to where I am staying. The other night I stopped by for some Haddock. I asked if I could get the fish poached instead of deep fried, and they were happy to oblige. So I ended up with one of the most delicious, succulent fish entrees that I have ever had in my life. It was amazing.

However, not wanting to upset the delicate balance of my finely tuned, processed food loving body, I also had a deep fried sausage. proper dosages.