What's that word...?

The relentless pandering of each minute as it steadily tick-tocks its way into the abyss of oblivion has not wasted itself echoing on deaf ears. Oft times we find ourselves precariously staggering that fine line between sanity and the great depth considered as “at a loss”. Ergo, the natural instinct is to stand idly by, gathering a substantial amount of relevant (and irrelevant) data, presume to postulate on the situation as best we can understand it, and then to take action as is finally deemed necessary and appropriate. Concordantly, I have metaphorically been taking this leave of absence on all things pertinent, and delved into a self-indulgent assessment of where I stand.

So I welcome you to this culinary fusion of drama and humor that is considered in all respects, My Life, and invite you to briefly allow yourself to be subjugated to the wandering muses that constitute my rambling. I would not be so pompous as to assume you will chase this roe of a thought as it leaps and hurdles through diverse cross-sections of all things Zach, but the sheer concept that you have taken a portion of your 24-hour allotment of Present Time is appreciated far more than mere words can attest.

I suppose the crux of the situation comes down to choice. How often do we find ourselves flitting about with all the logic of an erratic butterfly cranked up on speed, assuming that our paths are those we have chosen, forever salivating in a Pavlovian reaction to the telltale ring of the Bell of Life? Do we really presume ourselves to such a degree that we unceremoniously accept everything that we have as the works and glories of our own hands and action? Only in the delirious state of self-absorption could one feasibly dilute the facts of reason and logic into a melting pot of self-serving aggrandizement. How easily do we forget that we are no more than symbolic tetrarchs of our own destiny?

It is only through constant daily reminders that there is a Power that is greater than what the mere mortal mind can conceive of that has graciously given us all that we have, and on top of that, has given us the opportunity to CHOOSE whatever it is that we want. We have been given choice, the ability and knowledge to do as we wish. Every action that you take today will be because our Heavenly Father, through His Son Jesus Christ, gave you the opportunity to choose.

However, before dashing off into a myopic trance of ultimate choosing, let us not forget that consequence is the Siamese Twin that is eternally bound to the freedom of choice that we have been given.

So with choice…as I enjoy having its traveling partner along for the ride, and even though an understanding of this eternal concept always seems to sally forth just out of reach of my simple mind, I am still obligated to exercise this right. The tomfoolery imagination that I might abstain from choosing, in the hopes of negating any possible fall out, is easily derailed on its way to the train station of acceptance by the glaring notion that to not choose…is simply choosing not to. Consequences shall rain from the skies, in spite of the abjectness of inaction.

Choice. Thy movements reflect the choreographic beauty of the Wind Dancer. Here in an instant, gone in a flash, just when the warmth of understanding begins to wrap its woolen arms around, lulling you into a sedentary state of comfort and security, the drenching power of the cascading cold consequence drowns out your feeble assumptions.
I have choices to be made…but I still lack the one word that I am searching for…the one word that will draw this all together…the one word…

Confusion! That’s the word I was looking for.