It's Time

As many of you know, I have bandied about this country (and world) for quite some time...34 years in fact. After all of these travels and adventures and other whatnot worthy to be mentioned, (but won't be), I have decided that it is time for me to settle down and get married.

Ha ha! Just kidding...it's time to buy a house. Although...the marriage thing is something I am still pursuing. The only hitch with that is the fact that it is largely (as in 50% of the decision making), dependent upon someone else. I don't even know who that someone else currently is...let alone their interest level in an eternal commitment with me. But the adventures of learning that can be found at my new blog: www.whydatingstinks.blogspot.com, co-authored with my friend Paty.

But I digress...and should probably apologize for getting all of your hopes up. But do not give up on me getting married yet...I haven't.

In the meantime, I have decided that this summer, when my contract at my current apartment comes to a conclusion, that rather than renew once again with the lovely Harman Apartment Management Group, I am going to buy a house!

Not him.
One of these:

At that time, I also hope that Craig and Colter will know that they are personally invited to live there too.


In answer to your first, and most important question about my future home purchase, the answer is, "YES! I will be installing a Fire Pole."

For anyone with whom I have discussed home ownership will attest to, I have been a huge advocate of the Fire Pole for many years. In fact, I have but two things I WILL install into my abode as soon as the papers are signed.

1 - A Fire Pole

2 - A urinal

If the house is a single story with a basement, the pole will go between both floors. If I get a two-story house, with basement, you can be assured that the sliding goodness that is a fire pole will stretch all the way from the upper most story, all the way to the bowels of the basement.

But it MUST have a basement...as a single story fire pole, just doesn't have the same effect.

And what good standing male doesn't appreciate a urinal? Ladies...trust me...it will leave for a cleaner bathroom in the long run.

(You should have seen the images that came up when typing "urinal" into Google Images...oh wait...no you shouldn't.)

The other collection of gallimaufry knick-knacks and what's-its, will come along in time. Goodness knows I have pretty much everything required to furnish a home, from Projector for home theater, to milkshake machine for thick, delicious home-made milkshakes of whatever flavor you desire.

So the house will be well furnished.

The only encumbrance in this whole expedition to home ownership is...I have no idea what to do. I've never bought a house before. Sure, I have read books on it. I have read the World Wide Web with its many "www." pages. I have even been INSIDE of homes before...just to see what it is like in there.

But all this mortgage, ARP, Short Sale, Equity, Down Payment, "Former Meth Lab Check", is all about as foreign to me as...well...the experience of marriage.

Anyway...as with everything else I need to know in life...eventually I will either catch on, or buy The Complete Idiot's Guide to Purchasing Your First Home.

Oh wait...I already own that one.

But hopefully, sometime in July-ish or August, you will all be invited to my housewarming party in Provo...or Springville...or Payson...or Lehi...or somewhere in Utah County...or maybe Salt Lake County...but wherever it is, it will definitely have two stories...with a basement...or maybe it will be a rambler...yes, with a basement...with a yard...maybe a garage...and a dog...dogs come standard in homes, right? Should I look for a tub to be included? What about faucets? Outlets? It should come with a roof, right? The door should both open AND close? Will I need a vacuum? Or will a maid suffice?

Maybe I should research this a bit.

At A Loss

I find myself at a loss right now. This morning, my Mom called to let me know that her mother, my Grandmother, had passed away during the night. If pressed to put into words what my feelings were/are, I really don't think I could adequately describe them.

My Grandmother was an amazing woman. By far the greatest cook I have ever known. She has a recipe for rolls that is legendary. People across the nation have requested it as she shared the recipe with her children, they with their children, and then ten fold as these rolls started showing up at extended family gatherings and finally ward parties. And I don't blame them...they were really good rolls.

My Grandmother Byers was a tiny woman...but you didn't mess with her. She is the only one of my grandparents to ever hit me...and I was 25 or 26 at the time, easily almost a foot taller and 50 pounds heavier than her. My Mom and I were out there loading up a truck with some stuff to bring back, and she [my Grandmother] told me to make sure I helped my Mom unload the truck when we got back. I made an off-handed quip about being too tired and letting her do it on her own, and my Grandmother hauled back and smacked me. She had a good forearm.

She has also been heard to say about someone who was still asleep, that she is going to "jack him up".

I'm convinced that in her younger years she was a force to be reckoned with. She certainly was someone who stood her ground and voiced her opinion in her later years.

One thing we learned quickly as grandchildren was that she was GrandMOTHER, not Grandma, not Grams, nothing short of proper respect. However, even though she seemed a "stickler", through her actions, she earned the respect that she asked for.

My Grandmother was brilliant. I remember conversing with her on a wide variety of topics. Whenever we went to visit, she was always ready to talk with us about pretty much anything. I don't know why it sticks out in my mind, but one of my fondest memories was her telling us about the National Geographic Knowledge Bee. It was a competition for school kids to show off their knowledge, on a national level. Basically at the time, it was a "Jeopardy" for kids. She went on and on about how each winner had trained and studied.

I remember when the Olympics were in L.A., and the torch was carried across America, it happened to pass through Vernal, UT. I was staying with my Grandparents at the time and they took me to see it.

Her house was ALWAYS a house of order. Everything was always well-organized and clean. Even after the tornado that is grandchildren came through, everything thing seemed to be in its proper place.

One of the small things that I attribute to my Grandmother, is her introducing me to my favorite breakfast cereal of all time: Cracklin' Oat Bran. I remember the first time I ever had it was in her kitchen out in Dillon Colorado. It is still one of those foods that from the first bite, instantly transport me back to a more simple time.

She has been very ill for quite some time now. We have all known that this was coming. Perhaps that is why I am at a loss for words to describe how I feel. I've been preparing myself for this for awhile...and now that it has happened, I'm not sure how to react.

I was blessed with the opportunity to say good bye to her. On Sunday my Mom, my two brothers, Noah and Gabe, and my sister Bridgett and I, drove out to Rangely, CO where my Grandmother was staying at my Uncle Mark's. We had been told that it would be soon, so we all made a day trip out there and were able to visit with her for a few short hours. She slept most of the time, but we were able to see her awake...and she knew we were there. It was a special gift to be there that day.

My Grandmother was one of the greatest women to ever be born. She raised wonderful children and taught them correct principles. She supported her husband in all he did. She didn't voice it as often as other thoughts and feelings, but she lived the Gospel with everything she had to offer. She knew that our Savior lives. She loved her children and they knew it. She loved her grandchildren, and they knew it. She loved her great-grandchildren, and as well as they were able to understand...they knew it.

She was loved and she will be missed.