Roller-Coaster-O-Drama!

Please keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times, remember not to spit from the ride, and whatever you do, don't disengage the safety bar when hanging upside down. Enjoy the Ride!

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the enormous outpouring of support (and advice) that I have suddenly found myself deluged with. Despite the sarcastic undertones (*see "advice"), I really do appreciate every one of you and the thoughts you have shared.

However, I think it is important for you to have all of the details. As Paul Harvey is famous for saying, "And now...for the REST of the story."

Since my last entry, I have seen the masses lining up on two sides, those cheering for certain things to transpire, and those who are cheering for other events. I think it important that all the details are laid out in the open. If for nothing else, it makes for far more entertaining reading.

Obviously since The Letter, my world has been turned upside down. It has been clear that there is a lot of favoritism for the ideal "story book" ending to play out. I have to admit...it really would be a fantastic story to tell future generations. Fairy Tales couldn't hold a candle to the emotional angst that this has created.

However, before we all go traipsing down "Once upon a" Boulevard, (I recognize the irony that I used those exact same words earlier), it is important to point out three MAJOR points in the story:

1 - Although she finds herself RECENTLY single again, Mandy has a whole lot going on in her life right now and needs nothing more than the love and support of her friends and family to help her through this transition. Tossing on the additional stress and "craziness" that is dating would only hinder her, and in no way help her. All of you married folk...don't forget that dating, for lack of a better term, sucks like a vacuum.

2 - It has been 7 years. A lot can happen in 7 years. People change. In the time of Joseph in Egypt, entire civilizations were wiped out in a 7 year drought. Studies show that every 7 years, marriage relationships cycle through their own growth and developments. 7 years ago, choices were made that have affected all of us. One of those choices made was to marry a man...who wasn't me. Because it wasn't me, I had to move on. It wasn't exactly an easy pill to swallow, no matter how insensitive, shallow and oblivious I might have been. But I did swallow it and I did move on. Huge portions of my life have been locked away for a very long time. Thanks to the Ghost of Relationships Past...I have to face some skeletons in my closet.

3 - Finally, probably the most crucial crux in the situation, is the fact that there is another girl. Three years ago, I met a girl who got me. With no pretensions, no assumptions and no preconceived notions, she understood me and we quickly developed a very close friendship. For the last three years, she has been my best friend. You may ask, why has it taken three years for you to recognize how amazing she is? Well, it is because both of us have found ourselves in relationships with other people all along our path. However, when each of those relationships came to a screeching halt, we were there for each other. You hear stories about finding someone with whom you are comfortable. Someone who you know that no matter what mistakes you might make, no matter what stupid choices you may carry out, they will still care about you. It is a comfort that is rare, but I found it with her. Needless to say, several weeks ago, we started talking about how long we had been friends...and how close we had grown. When I was last in Utah, during my whirlwind trip of Independence celebration, someone said, "You know it works best when you marry your best friend." Well, I realized that this girl is my best friend. We had just started talking about taking things to the next level.

And now my Drama Roller Coaster decides to go for a loop. Please do not mistake this as a cry of annoyance or anything bad. On the contrary, nothing that has happened in the last month or so has been considered an intrusion into my life in anyway. (Except for some SPAM e-mail I keep getting...that is annoying). I know that each of you reading this has probably already "chosen sides" and know the team you are rooting for...(except for my Mother...she loves me and told me that whoever I marry, she is going to love)...I know lines have been drawn...but I implore you to know that I am doing the best I can. I have NO idea how things are going to work out. However, several months ago, when I was asked to teach Seminary, I had a good long, heartfelt discussion with our Heavenly Father. I told Him that I had concerns with taking on such an assignment because it would take much of my free time, time that my priesthood leaders had encouraged me to use to find an eternal mate. There were other concerns, but they are between me and Heavenly Father. Anyway, I received an answer to my plea. The answer is this: The Lord will guide me and help me find her. Whoever she may be.

Please don't choose yet. I haven't.